Jeremy was believed to be in so deep in that
no one, not even 5765, could find him. Turns out we were mistaken. Jeremy
proved to be a turncoat hedgehog of the worst sort. He was working for the
international cadre of felines!
Chief, Code Blue. Willy, Wally, Sally,
and Tali slipped from position. Were in trouble. Over.
5764, I read you. Over.
Alley cats sighted. Over. Moggies
seem to be more effective in neutralizing agents than falling acorns, pinecones
projectiles, or visiting dignitaries. In 2010, a clowder deactivated Koningbed.
Whereas one of his littermates assumed his station, an accident, involving a
hungry Irish Setter, took her out.
Code Bluish Grey. The cats found Willy,
Wally, Sally and Tali. Over.
5764, deny all knowledge. If captured,
youre obliged to bite that pill. Instant death. Over.
Bunnies and gophers! If I hadnt been
delayed by jock itch, wed still have a prickle of retainers. I
didnt want to die. I couldnt; someone had to make sure that
Talis family received his pension. He had worked for the Service for half
of his life.
I loathed Jeremy. I loathed the climes
heat, I was, from the get go, distracted by fungus sprouting on my personal
parts.
5764, do you read? Over.
I read. Over.
This process, which Big Fur is chaperoning, of
making peace between Hola Valley Spore and Jordanian Dust Mites, is getting
expensive in agents deaths.
5764, stay out of sight. Over.
I ought to have read the briefing paper prior
to boarding Big Furs aircraft. Instead, I had my snoot on the bulletins
about dirty bombs. While the locals seemed to favor IWI Tavors, the rebels
prefer Molotovs crammed with nails and stones.
Ten prickles worth of soldiers, plus
additional squadrons of field-savvy fighters, allegedly, had secured the
streets. My team was to provide backup and to secure select sidewalks.
Intentionally, we sacrificed a few parakeets
to the cause. Those second class citizens hadnt observed any cats. It was
an insurgent rock hyrax did them in. Critter must have had rabies to try to eat
hedgehogs.
Inhaling, I evaluate the goings on. Enemy
special forces are in cohorts with Jeremys league. There is no other
explanation for the demise of Willy, Wally, Sally, and Tali. Those operatives
had had the best, most reliable intelligence.
Whats more, half of an hour ago, when
Big Furs motorcade started, Sammy and Pammy had been parked in front of a
hospital. They, too, failed to sight the dumpster cats. They, too, had been
switched off.
Sammy and Pammy remained wormy while standing
guard. A nasty parasite, found only in lands situated between the Mesopotamia
River and the Nile, had been bothering them before the mission. Forensics
thinks it hitched a ride with the Egyptian storks. Nicks, though, told me that
he thought the sudden infestation was no accident. To Sammy and Pammy, he had
handed generous pawfuls of luminal drugs.
5764, do you read? Over.
I read. Over.
Sammy and Pammys discomfort had been
more of a misery than an itch; its impossible to scratch when standing at
parade rest. At least, upon getting eaten, they ceased to suffer.
Although its awful to see a mate getting
mauled, its far worse to listen to that sort of mangling over a headset.
Once the Big Furs proxy vehicle passed, I temporarily changed the channel
on my receiver.
I wagered that our head Erinaceomorpha
had snuck into the crowd using sunglasses and a baseball hat. The proxy
cars passage meant he was secure. In balance, maybe Big Fur didnt
pose as a sports nut and mingle with onlookers.
Sometimes, the Service disguises him as a
senior citizen and rushes him to wherever he has to be. Alternatively, maybe
the proxy vehicle was a double decoy and he was actually aboard.
I regard my screen, again, but see no trace of
Sammy and Pammys viscera. I only spot several bedraggled-looking critters
sniffing around the scene of their murder. I know that those disheveled sorts
are not homeless, but are some of our agents.
I scroll down another screen. Bless these SIG
Sauer P229s. Thats one exploded street cat. Covers blown,
though.
5764, get out. Over.
I get out, but Daniella gets caught. Shucks!
There was another puss lurking.
Her family will not cope well, even with
college stipends getting locked into an account for her latest litter. Cancel
that; payout to dependents was cut by Big Fur last year. Blasted whispers and
whiskers! Her family will receive a lump sum, which will likely be spent long
before those juveniles need their education.
More cats converging. I see why this place
spooks our leader. Whereas China deals with organized mosquitos and Mozambique
puts down crocodiles with attitude, those beasts cant compare to furry
terrorists with both claws and incisors.
I wish I were home, where the fiercest
combatants I face are neighborhood moles that lay claim, annually, to my
carrots and radishes. As it is, Im waiting for 5765 to guide me in.
5764, its 5765. Over.
I read. Over.
Shadow Boss Coon. Hes leaving from
the elementary school in five, four, three, two, one. Over.
I read. Over.
Big Furs cranky. I hate being his
babysitter. At least his guards have JARs and KAC SR-25/Mk11 Mod 0s.
Ill get out alive.
We stuff Big Fur back onto his plane. Only an
arrogant dude would consent to being disguised as a large, black masked,
ring-tailed mammal. We grunts are proud of being furze-pigs.
Titus eyeballs me. Like me, he detests special
ops. Its a pity he couldnt kill that traitor, Jeremy.
The Chiefs plane lifts. Soon, were
in international air space. I dont envy 5765 his job.
A tear rolls down my snout. Sammy and Pammy
were skilled hedgehogs and great bridge players. They will be missed.
Titus slides over to my seat, his gear still
in place, one of his nasty guns still in his paws. He punches me in the
shoulder and nods in my direction.
I look up.
He gestures with his head, but puts a paw to
his face in the universal expression for say nothing.
Big Fur is slouched over his juice cup and is
snoring like a badger.
I look at Titus, and he looks at me. We
wont be able to sell our smartphone pictures, but well still enjoy
taking them.