The Martian Invasion
by Martin Green
The sudden appearance of a Martian spaceship over Washington D.C. in the wake of winter storms, flooding, terrible Oscar nominees and the 2016 presidential election was the last straw. Needless to say, there was an emergency meeting in the White House. The President, who had been forced to cancel his latest rally before supporters guaranteed to cheer his every word, turned to his CIA Director. How come we didnt have any intelligence on this? he asked. Wasnt there increased chatter coming from Mars?
With all the chatter in this town, Mr. President, its hard to tell. Besides, our intelligence was directed elsewhere. You remember, North Korea, China, Iran, Syria, Afghanistan, Mexico, California.
This must all be connected to the bungling policies of the previous administration. Now were paying the price.
Meanwhile, on one of the TV cable channels, various pundits were telling interviewers that wed known about the possibility of a Martian invasion for years, look at the War of the Worlds and Independence Day movies, and neither the Republicans or the Democrats had done anything to prepare for it.
On another cable channel, the Reverend Jesse Sharpton was telling a reporter, This shows conclusively that we still have a racist solar system. Why didnt the Martian spaceship appear over a mostly white city? This all goes back to the days of slavery. First, the white people, now the Martians.
The New York Times front page story asked the question: is the Martian invasion linked to global warming? Half a dozen scientists weighed in on either side. The Times editorial demanded an immediate bipartisan investigation.
* * *
The Martian delegation descended from the spaceship and advanced on the President and his aides, plus the Secret Service, the FBI and the CIA, all ready to repulse any attack. Who did you say was the leader? the head Martian asked his foreign minister.
That one with the strange hair.
Ah, yes. Greetings, President Grump.
Uh, its Trump. Im the President, elected with a sweeping majority of electoral votes and I would have won the popular vote too except for a few million illegal ballots.
Im also very rich.
Yes. Im also opposed to illegal immigrants but since youre already here Ill make an exception. Well oppose all of your demands but, since Im a master of the art of the deal, Im ready to negotiate.
We have no demands and no wish to negotiate, President Grump. Were here to help.
Huh. Help? What do you mean? And its President Trump.
Weve had reports of your storms, flooding, loss of moral values, sex, violence and nudity on television, obsession with Twitter and government gridlock and have come to lend some assistance. I believe its what you would call a clean-up operation.
By the next week, thanks to advanced Martian technology, the damage from storms and flooding was repaired. The Martians left peacefully, as theyd come. Afterward, it was found that everyone in the White House and all members of Congress were also gone.
More stories from Winamop
Copyright reserved. Please do not reproduce without consent.