What Happens Next in the Harry Potter books
instead. by M.H.
Towards the end of Book 7 Harry is given some vital
information about Voldemort by Wormtail (whose life, you will recall, he spared
in Book 4). This enables Harry to kill Voldemort, although not before Voldemort
has killed Wormtail, having found out what he's done. In the last Grand Battle,
Neville also, inadvertently, kills Bellatrix, thereby avenging his parents.
Ginny Weasley, whose role grows significantly in the last two books, also
assists Harry in his killing of Voldemort, for, as the seventh child of the
Weasley family, she has a number of extraordinary powers that no one knows
about, except for Dumbledore, who has realised she must have them back in Book
2 when she is possessed by Tom Riddle/Voldemort, yet remains mentally unscathed
afterwards. Neville is so shaken by his killing of Bellatrix that he devotes
the rest of his life to Magical Social Work, counselling the families of those
killed or maimed by Voldemort and his supporters.
Harry does not get the exam results to enable him
to become an Auror, having failed his OWL in Divination, and only just scraped
a pass in Potions, History of Magic, and Astronomy (which was of course
interrupted by Hagrid's expulsion). Nevertheless, his brilliance in Defence
Against the Dark Arts means that he is taken on to teach the subject at
Hogwarts, there still being plenty of Death Eaters and Dementors wandering
around after Voldemort's death, which warrants maintaining the subject on the
curriculum. This enables many of one's favourite characters to remain in the
story, including Dumbledore, Hagrid, McGonagall and Snape - who still hates
Harry (and vice versa), leading to a certain amount of tension in the Hogwarts
staffroom. Harry marries Ginny Weasley (thereby keeping the Weasleys in the
story too), and they have 12 children, as predicted by Trelawney in a rare
moment of optimism in Book 5. This keeps J K Rowling writing for the rest of
her life, relating all of their adventures.
So that Harry is not the only married member of
staff at Hogwarts (it's always struck me as odd that the entire staff appear to
be celibate!), Hagrid also marries Olympe, who settles with him at Hogwarts,
but who turns his hut into a palace in no time at all.
The Weasley Twins rapidly become as rich as Bill
Gates. One of their first actions is to buy their dear brother Ron a
state-of-the-art broomstick, which they further endow with a bit more magic of
their own. This enables Ron to fly like never before, and with his new-found
confidence at helping Gryffindor win the Quidditch Cup he improves so much that
he eventually finds himself playing on the England Quidditch Team. In the next
Quidditch World Cup final, Ron's actions enable the England team to win (to
loud chanting of "Weasley is our King, He never lets the quaffle in" from the
England supporters), in a cliffhanging match against the Bulgarian Team,
captained by Viktor Krum.
Both the Weasley Twins marry and have families, and
their offspring regularly test their fathers' prototype products at Hogwarts,
causing many outrageously hilarious scenes.
Dudley Dursley also marries, and has a child born with magical
powers, doubtless inherited via Petunia's side of the family. The Dursleys try
to hide these powers and deny their child has them, but ultimately the youngest
ever Minister of Magic, Hermione Granger, insists that the child has to attend
Hogwarts - where s/he is promptly sorted into Slytherin.
As far as the Ministry of Magic goes - Fudge is,
not unexpectedly, forced into an ignominious resignation. Umbridge is kissed by
a berserk Dementor, and Percy Weasley dies in a misguided attempt to save her.
Hermione rises quickly to the top, so many people having resigned/been sacked
etc. She repeals anti-giant and anti-werewolf legislation (thereby allowing
Lupin to go up in the world), but unfortunately also grants compulsory freedom
to all House Elves, which leads to great civil unrest, and the House Elf Riots.
Dobby acts as an intermediary between the Ministry and the House Elves during
the course of these.
Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson marry and have a
family. Their children attend Hogwarts, where they cause Harry and his
offspring untold misery.
The Quibbler publishes another sell-out
edition when Luna Lovegood grants them an exclusive interview following her
capture of a pair of Crumple-Horned Snorkacks. Rita Skeeter, in an attempt to
get the story for The Daily Prophet, transforms into a beetle once too
often - one of the Crumple-Horned Snorkacks eats her! Luna gives the
Crumple-Horned Snorkacks to Hagrid, who starts the world's first ever
Crumple-Horned Snorkack breeding programme at Hogwarts, and teaches care of the
beasts to Hogwarts students.
Lucius Malfoy, Goyle Snr., Crabbe Snr., and several
hundred uncontrollable Dementors remain on the run to cause mayhem for many
years to come.
It will be interesting to see how close (or otherwise) I am!!
Maybe you can think of some improvements, or interesting things to happen to
people like Tonks and Mad-Eye Moody, or even Mr. and Mrs. Weasley?
© MH March 2004