Poems
by Tony
Dawson
Make America’s Gonads Ache
The man with a bee in his bonnet
and a worm in his brain
is worthy of a sonnet
or at least a refrain:
“JFK Jr’s a nutjob, JFK Jr’s a clown,
JFK Jr’s a nutjob, we all fall down.”
With his crack smoker’s voice,
he condemns all vaccines
and gives kids a choice:
be sickly forever or die in your teens.
So, it’s measles for weasels
and mumps for the Trumps.
And let’s have a dose of orchitis
all around to blight us.
Money Talks ...Weird
Pre-emptive surgery is common among the wealthy.
It’s their way of keeping supposedly healthy.
To avoid the big C, AJ had a double mastectomy
and if she doesn’t want kids, she’ll have a hysterectomy
but just to make sure, her man must have a vasectomy.
A belt and suspenders tactic is the American way.
The rich can do what they like because they can pay.
It surprises me that a contraceptive orchiectomy
hasn’t been tried or the alternative gonadectomy.
A certain Republican’s had a hemispherectomy.
All he needs now is a complete glossectomy.
How to Grow Younger
My seventy-year-old wife
went to have her hair cut
and came back thirty-five years
younger, with the gamine look
I fell in love with.
The intervening years
had been snipped away.
She has the gaze
and impudent grin
that go with her urchin
haircut, the same one
that left me nonplussed
like a teenager on his first date
when she joined me in Spain
thirty-five years ago.
Now she’s young again,
while I need more than a haircut...
Twin Towns
Here’s a link to make you gawp,
a coupling to make you moan.
I suggest the town of Scunthorpe
should be twinned with Penistone.
A Poet Could Not But be Gay
though now they have a wider choice.
According to what the guidelines say,
they seek variety in the poet’s voice.
More often than not it’s LGBTQ.
If you happen to be a straight white male
editors will show no interest in you.
Your binary gender is beyond the pale.
