I think there might be an election going on..
For some time now I've suspected that our politians are plotting
something.. but now that they've disolved parliament and gone out onto the
streets in "battle buses" I know it to be true: There's an election coming!
Every time I turn on the radio or the TV there's one of them
spouting on about the health service or the defecit or housing or taxes or
foreigners or renewables or expenses or terrorism or foreign aid or defence or
social services or antisocial neighbours or neighbourhood watch or the big
society or the little people or the rich people or the poor people or the class
divide or root and branch reform or a fresh start or hard-working families or
bankers bonuses or teachers or nurses or doctors or the minimum wage or the
price of oil or hard-working workers or lazy benefit cheats - then accusing
eachother of being too posh or too ruthless or too racist or too green or not
posh enough or not bright enough or not racist enough or not green enough -
then going on TV debates, radio phone-ins, radio interviews, TV interviews,
cameo appearances at garden fetes, tours of England, tours of marginals, tours
of Scotland, tours of Wales wearing blue ties red ties green ties yellow ties
or silver ties as appropriate. They wheel out their wives, their sons, their
daughters, their best mates down the pub, they play football, they play darts,
they go jogging, they try colouring-in with children in schools, and all with a
camera crew in attendence so that we can watch the whole fandango over and over
Well. All I can say is "For goodness sake give it a rest!" Just
shut up until we've all had a chance to decide which bunch of buffoons we're
going to have in Westminster this time, then do the best you can.
Well, in that case I'm turning off the radio and the TV until
it's all over. I'm cancelling the newspapers and I'm not reading the news
sites. If any canvassers come to the door I'll be hiding in the kitchen. If any
of my freinds try and engage me in political debate I'm going to make my excuse
and leave. If I'm stopped in the street and asked my political opinion I'm
going to walk away singing "la la la la" in a loud voice, that usually puts
Have you any sand that I can bury my head in?
See you on May 8th.
Read old page 94s here.