Aaargh! What are we going to do now?
We go over live to our correspondent at Westminster.
Hello from Westminster. Nobody here has the foggiest idea
what to do. It seems that most people have resigned or are being forced to
resign or have just fallen asleep due to being exhausted by running around in
small circles since the referendum result.
The Scots are uppity (no change
there then) the Welsh are probably happy - it's hard to tell, the pound is
worth 60 cents and the London stock-exchange has gone poo. Nigel Farage has
denied that any of this is his fault and gone for a pint.
Back to the
studio... Oh no, wait things have just taken a turn for the worse; Michael Gove
has kicked Boris in the goolies and intends to become prime-minister. Lord
preserve us! Aaargh! (noises off)
Oh dear, I think we've lost our Westminster correspondent,
possibly for good. Kiss your children goodnight Britain and batten down the
Now here's the weather from Samantha.
It's pissing down as usual. What do you expect? It is mid
summer after all...
Be assured that Winamop operates to the very highest
journalistic standards, all our stories are rated for truthfulness (if only the
tabloids would do that!). We also drink vast amounts and are experts at bugging
phones, shoving our feet in your doors and our cameras in your tear-stained
T = True story
MT = Mostly true
L = Lies
PL = Probably Lies
LF = Lies based on Facts
UB = Utter Boll... err.. Balderdash!
Note: To comply with time-honoured journalistic practices, we
only use single sources and never check our facts. If we cannot obtain firm
information we make it up.
Rupert made us do it!