Paul Lerners wife Sally always wanted to
go to Christmas Eve service so here he was, sitting in the church attended by
most of the people in their Northern California retirement community, once
again a reluctant participant. Sally had often told him that her mother, whose
later life was centered around her Southern church, firmly believed that
shed meet her late husband in heaven. Paul didnt really know what
Sally, who only went to church two or three times a year, believed. In him, the
religious gene, for whatever reason, was missing and he and Sally rarely
discussed the matter.
Although he usually enjoyed the Christmas
hymns and carols sung by the churchs choir, Paul always felt
uncomfortable when the pastor gave the inevitable sermon, reminding the
audience that despite all the commercialization Christmas was about the birth
of Jesus. But the regular pastor, Pastor Gene, was a nice man who didnt
imply that anyone who didnt believe in Jesus was doomed to Hell. This
year Pastor Gene was ill and his place was taken by a substitute, very zealous,
who made it clear that his brand of Christianity was the only true
religion.
Where, thought Paul, did this leave the
millions of Hindus, Muslims and Jews, not to mention atheists and agnostics?
Then there was the belief that Jesus was the son of God. There might have been
a historical Jesus and the story of the manger, the shepherds and the three
wise men was appealing. But Paul wondered how anyone could believe in a virgin
birth and a resurrection. And then there was the inevitable question of why, if
there was a God, Christian or not, the world was obviously filled with pain and
suffering, with innocent children (what had they done?) dying of AIDS, other
diseases and hunger. Paul knew that religious people had all kinds of
convoluted arguments to explain this, free will and all the rest. But
wasnt there an obvious and simple explanation? Sure, when mankind was in
its infancy people created gods to account for things they couldnt
comprehend. But now we knew that our planet was just a speck in an expanding
universe billions of years old and that one day our sun would be gone and with
it life on earth.
Paul looked at his watch. How long was this
stuff going to go on? He made a mental vow: this was the last Christmas Eve
service hed attend. If Sally wanted to go next year, shed have to
go by herself. He couldnt wait to leave. The substitute pastor finally
stopped talking. The head of the church choir came to the microphone and told
them that candles would be handed out and that theyd then sing
Silent Night, while filing out of the church. Ushers appeared in
the aisles, the candles were passed along, then lighted. Everyone stood. The
strains of Silent Night filled the church. Paul looked around. He
had to admit that it was an impressive scene, all of those people holding their
candles, singing the beautiful song.
Maybe those early humans were right in
creating their gods after all. Maybe the conception of man being alone in an
uncaring universe was too much to bear. Even thinking about it, a cold chill
ran through him. People needed something warm, like those candles, to get
through their lives. In the church lobby, he and Sally met some neighbors and
they wished each other a happy holiday season. They went out into the cold
night. For once the sky was clear and they could see a few stars, or maybe they
were planets. Tomorrow their family would be coming and theyd be seeing
their grandchildren. Pauls irritation dissolved. Maybe he would go to
Christmas Eve service next year after all. It made Sally happy. But he hoped
Pastor Gene would be in good health and give the sermon.