Commitment Or
Asshole?
I wont be making it
in
tomorrow morning I said
But youre on the
rota
to work tomorrow
morning so youve got
to make it in said my
supervisor.
Im not going to be
able
to make it tomorrow
morning I repeated
Youre on the rota
and
why the fuck cant you
make it in tomorrow
morning?
Ive got a poetry
reading tonight
I said
A what? he asked
frowning
A poetry reading
I said again
A poetry reading? what
is that? what are you?
and how the fuck is
that going to stop you
making it in tomorrow
morning? he asked
looking puzzled and
angry
Chances are that
Im
going to be drinking and
living until 4am and I
wont give a shit about
this place at 8am I
offered as an honest
plausible reason for
not being able to make
it in as per the rota and
I apologised for this.
The supervisor glared
at me with disbelief and
fury and snarled
You take off that
uniform, unless you
are going to
return tomorrow
morning
Okay I said and
took
off the uniform, dropping
the clothes to the floor;
I stood in tee shirt and
boxer shorts before him;
he shook his head
and was about to say
something when I
turned and
walked out of the
office and into the busy
supermarket where I
drew the startled attention
of many curious shoppers;
but it was a bad move; all
for nothing; unbeknown
to me, the reading had
been fucking cancelled.
Grandfather
Perhaps in a decade or
so, my 2 granddaughters
may read some of my
poems and stories and
ask their mother with
contorted serious faces;
Did Papa really act out
all those drug fuelled antics
and all those horrible,
reckless
drunken escapades
and
with those kind
of
people?
Papa didnt really do
all those kind of
things
with those kind
of
people, did he?, really?
Well my daughter
may say to her
children
Papa didnt tell
lies;
so I guess he did so
URRRRRR, no, not Papa!
he wouldnt have!
they may cry in unison
still not believing;
Oh yes he did!
For The Better
There are days,
perhaps too many,
when for my own
safety and for
that of others,
that I stay in bed
or at best dont
leave the house;
but even this
is no guarantee,
like today,
I was sat at the
kitchen table
reading from my
1st edition copy
of
Dan Fantes
A gin-pissing-raw meat-
dual carburettor-V8-
son of a bitch from
Los Angeles
when there came a
knock at the door;
I was expecting nobody;
I put down the book
and barked
Who the Fuck!
I opened the door
to 2 silver haired
retired
well dressed persons;
one male
one female;
Yeah I said
looking
at the 2 of them;
Ive some
pamphlets
here the guy said
holding up some
glossy paperwork;
Asking WHO REALLY
RULES THE WORLD?
I glared hard at the
guy; fixing his eyes and
said
I do
the silver haired lady let
go a soft nervous laugh;
when I looked over,
she stopped and looked
silently down at her shoes;
Is that all? I
asked
looking back at the
silver haired guy;
he looked puzzled
frowned and said
Yes
I closed the door and
made some espresso
and watched the rain
beginning to fall outside
and then
anxiously waited for
the next asshole to
intrude upon my life.
A Really Bad Habit
One time
a time ago
I had a real
shitty habit
that pissed-off
most of my
friends;
too drunk
too stoned
too lazy
Id piss into
indoor plant
pots;
in their lounges,
kitchens,
hallways
if there was
a plant pot
Id find it
and piss into it;
it was damn right
disgusting
and now
I no longer piss
into indoor plant pots
as Im no longer
invited anywhere
and
I no longer
piss-off
my friends;
I still get
drunk
and
stoned
and Im still
lazy
but Ive a little
more decorum
and mostly make
it to the bathroom,
but sometimes;
I piss into the
back yard
beneath a cold
sky, watching the
steam rise
gently into
the freezing air,
beneath the
grin of god
Blood, Shit and Teeth
After shitting blood for
4 days
she suggest that I go
see my GP
and then in the
morning I awoke
with just 1 front tooth,
I had gone to bed
with 2 front
capped - teeth;
the fucker must
have come loose
and I swallowed it
during dream-time;
dentists have always
made me nervous
and that prick
Dr Walter Palmer
didnt help my
feelings;
physically it was a
painless procedure
financially
it was crippling
and then after
the GP visit and
the usual GP
questions;
Do you still
smoke and drink
alcohol at very
unhealthy levels
Mr Robinson?
and you have a
daily use of codeine
for pain-relief
I nod my head
Yes doctor
I say with an
awkward mouth;
We could do some
blood tests
the doctor says.
Okay I whisper
through tight lips and
the gap in my
mouth.
Youve got to slow
down a little, take it
easy for a while
my doctor tells me
and I think of the
Wantling line
Im a poet
fuck me again
but I dont say this,
I dont say anything
but I nod my head
with a dumb grin
and rise from the
chair to go;
Well send you
an appointment
the good doctor
promises.
Thats good
I
lisp, closing
the door behind me.