time, in all directions
or the minor acts of
dead men
of forgotten
lovers
you live in the
past
present
or future
and make no
apologies
am i inventing
you
correctly
here?
fifteen wasted years
and
then five good ones
and then the
cancer
the phone call from his
sister on a
weekend i was out of
town and
what if i tell her the
joke but
forget the
punchline?
there are other lives
at stake here,
you
understand
gods taking bullets
and
newborn babies set on
fire and
all of the pits being
dug by
anonymous soldiers on
the
edges of factory
towns
all of the wars that
are started
while we
sleep
all of the letters from
home
that get lost along the
way
never knew you were
loved
until it was
too late to
matter
Universe
A
Was and is
raining. Cold. Slow
decay of
houses, of cars, and the
poison
spreading underground.
Twenty years
now, and all of those
teenage girls
dead of cancer.
Twenty five
since I last saw you.
I wrote the
novel, then burned
every
page. I worked third shift
washing
dishes. Slept without ever
hearing the
phone ring. Slept
while the
future moved off in a
different
direction.
Woke up four
hours later, and
all of the
possibilities Id come
to believe in
were gone.
Glorified
any fool can
show you a map
any house can
be the
one you die
in
told her this
like it
actually
meant something and
she laughed,
walked out the door and
got married,
had children,
grew old
you
see?
the days
bleed into each other
without end
no matter how
loudly you scream
no matter how
tightly you close your eyes
all of our
victories lined
end to end
add up to nothing
the man
handing out handfuls of
candy is the
one who will give the
order to
butcher the children,
and then
what?
art becomes
such a monumental
waste of time
when placed beneath
the
suffocating weight of our
accumulated
atrocities
this is
the fire
like some
dark blue christ nailed
to a cross of
human sorrow
like a dull
orange sky
over
hardscrabble fields
i have seen
your
version of
the past
i have been
pinned beneath the
weight of so
much hatred i
could no
longer breathe
we are all
dogs, yes, of course,
i see this
now, but it feels
so goddamned
good to fuck the
wives of
anonymous men
feels better
just to be alone
to enjoy the
danger of
keeping
absolutely still
that target
painted across my
heart in such
beautiful
breathing
colors
looks up,
shoots at the sky
where the
clouds broke apart for just a
frightened
moment
and the sun
suddenly and without warning
where every
dream was of christ
but none of
them were of salvation and
when she
spoke it was in someone
elses voice
when she
asked if there was any
reason to
keep on going it
was too cold
to answer
leaves torn
from poisoned trees in
bitter
november wind and
all of our
doors locked against it
the illusion
of safety
the children
growing older
a weapon
hidden in every room and
then a body
found buried
beneath some
suburban back porch
a woman naked
and
chained in
the basement
smaller wars
with only victims and
you said this
was better
because it
cost you nothing
a river run
black with blood
and you said
it tasted fine
said there
was nothing left for me
to do but
close my eyes and jump