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John Tustin




Blue Light


Around my head is a blue light.

I imagine one is around yours as well.

It is a halo. It is a cage.


Around my bed is a blue-tinged aura.

I imagine a blue aura around your bed, too.

A soft blue like fog.


I am listening to blue music.

I imagine you are listening to blue music

And it was made before either of us were born.


If you come to me I want you to leave

Your rings and your jewelry at home

Unless they are blue.


This room is bathed in blue.

My body is blue and I imagine yours

Is just as lonely and yearning and blue


And I lie in my blue bed and wait for you.




a line, (a short blue one)



A Drunken Mermaid


A drunken mermaid

Lines the walls of the eyes inside my mind.

She lounges there, staring at me with her eyes

Both liquid and lofty.

On the landscape before me are a million flowers wilting,

Some in flames

As the sun pushes them down toward the earth

All at once.

They are pretty but they appear to be doomed.

Beneath me is a tunnel leading nowhere,

Just down and down and down

Into more nothing.


This room is cramped and lonely

But comfortable enough.

Here I will stay.

I lie down on my back,

Close my eyes in the dark

And watch the mermaid wriggling,

Her body dancing topless many times over

Along the walls of my eyes.

She never reaches out to me,

She just wriggles and shows me her body,

Her eyes staring into me,

Hot pokers blazing holes

Into the ever narrowing

Complacency of my heart.




a line, (a short blue one)



Scars Along Her Chest


The scars along her chest,

I trace them in the dark,

Kiss her mouth,

Sink my fingers inside of her.

Her moans and her screams

Go on and on

As I get on and ride.


Scars along her heart

Where the knives went in –

I cannot trace those

So I lick between her legs

And delight as she quivers,

Pulls my hair, says my name.


I look into her eyes after

And I see her always sadness and her

New joy.

I feel no pity for her, I feel no shame for me.

I just feel the warmth of her smile

As we lie spent and sweaty,


Without the judgment

Of other eyes.


The scars along her chest,

I suck at her nipple and trace them

In the dark, my cock hard

And squeezed in her hand

As her heart beats faster,

Withstanding its own scars,

Finally and for now.




a line, (a short blue one)



She Takes Off Her Shoes


She takes off her shoes

Just as I am taking off my shoes

And after other things I fucked her with one of her socks on

And one off

And she came eight times

But I didn’t come once


And it probably wasn’t because

I didn’t see both of her lovely feet

So ivory and lavender

With notoriously high arches

Instead of just one lovely foot


But I did blame that sock out loud

Because it’s better than blaming



As I remember back when I was married and

Everything was my fault

And the last thing on my mind

Was a lovely young lady

With high arches



To come

Just for me.




a line, (a short blue one)



Thinking Of Your Body Above Me And Beneath Me


Remembering it

Feels like

My hands and feet are tied

My neck snapped back

Eyes forced open

To take it all in.


I think of how it felt,


Looked in the dark


To have your body wet and close to mine


Your moans and undulations


And, finally,

You collapsing in shaking climax


And I sob like a child

Who can’t find his mama,


Reaching out in the dark,


Touching not

Your miraculous brown body

But only air.



a line, (a blue one)


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