Because they can, wonky
grandmom word slingers frequently fluctuate between informative and funny. One
day, theyre staid, the next, theyre focused on farce or slapstick.
Pratfalls and parkour become their hokey pokey in places where character
development and nuanced tone customarily hold sway. Timeworn wordies employ
vacillating writing because they know that it is as yummy as frozen treats.
However, whereas most
graying wonders are not convinced that chocolate ice cream causes exacerbations
in anxiety, and as such should be consumed in limited quantities, the realm of
publishing remains poised against mature folks verbal ministrations, no
matter those comforts taste. Convergent media, too, conspire against
aging word whackers, especially when said soda fountain operatives dare to
scoop out sticky concepts. Hence, despite personal and collective decades of
literary umph, grandmama authors know no peace.
Sure, a minority of
editors, when interacting with senior ladies of literature, refrain from:
concealing their rhetorical toppings, turning off their verbal custard
machines, or making sure that all of their contributors portions are
exacting. Yet, even those generous industry insiders, when miffed about opened
toilet lids, overcooked chicken, wash loads gone cloudy, or different private
casualties: broadcast just their friends work, create themes only
approachable by marauding, invisible hedgehogs, or elsewise shut out white
hairs. Theres little social condemnation when curators compensate for
their subjective unhappiness by excluding old-timers.
So, as to not be
so quick to get rejected, oldsters have taken to using pseudonyms,
to refusing to provide headshots, and to saying nothing, regardless of how
scintillating, about their birthdates. Moreover, OAPs send janitors, caterers,
and laundresses to their favorite troubled gatekeepers and rewrite like crazy
(everyone knows rewriting is the new black). A change of phrase
here, or an additional example or ten, there, make most matrons work
suddenly appealing to frustrated commissioners.
accordingly shrug and sidestep professional balderdash because theyre
regularly high on stylistic whipped cream. Its a matter of savory mousse
for them to wiggle their fingers at people who control
access to electronic, audio, and print ports, at individuals who
mistakenly, fickly naysay textual ripeness. It follows that the written
offerings of elders sashay like the flamingos depicted on early morning horror
shows; they semantically stream low while concurrently lining up in harmony
with eruditions syntactical forces. Such positioning, while not
psychedelic, often induces readers hallucinations as well as bonus
expansions of consciousness.
scribblers stay disreputable for their storybook sweets, for their tendering of
vivid, unconventional perceptions. They continue on as notorious, too, for
purposefully rocking their primary audiences heads hard enough to gain
access to their ideas, for their secondary audiences, i.e. bibliophiles and
pretend furze-pigs. Its advantageous that skewwhiff grannies dont
care about calories or nutritional content.
In sum, developed word
players cope by exemplifying the best of style guide applications simultaneous
with shaking manuscripts in edgy ways. Its a wonder that
anyones surprised when those wrinkled writers take more expository risks
than ice cream jocks have flavors (rainbow sprinkles excepted).
*Some ideas and
phrasing are taken from: Fluctuating between Informative and Funny.
Hannahs Monthlies. KJ Hannah Greenberg Website. Jul.