A shooting in our nice quiet suburb just outside of
Californias capital, staid Sacramento?
Yes, it happened.
Well, maybe our suburb wasnt that nice or that quiet. It
was the seventies; we were all young couples; the sixties had ended all sexual
inhibitions. Consider one of our many summer barbeques. The women were all made
up, nicely tanned, wearing light dresses or shorts. The men eyed them
appreciatively. Husbands danced with wives, not necessarily their own. Looks
were exchanged; maybe notes were passed. There was a buzz of gossip. Who was
seeing whom? After the barbeque, thered be arguments; at the end of the
summer thered be break-ups. Before years end possibly thered
be a divorce. No, a shooting wasnt that impossible. Maybe it was
I myself tried to keep clear of our groups flirtations,
maneuverings and gossip. Id been married to Sally for six years. We had
two small children. Our sex life had dwindled, but that was as expected. I was
working hard to get a promotion at my office. We needed the money to take care
of our house and the kids. My time of playing around was over; at least
thats what I told myself.
Much of our groups gossip centered around my next-door
neighbor and tennis partner Sidney Edwards. This was first because Sid was an
unattached male, divorced the year before. He was also tall, ruggedly handsome
and, as far as women were concerned, a charmer. And he was a successful lawyer.
It wasnt that Sid boasted of his exploits; he was quite discreet. But
several times, when I was up early to get the morning paper, I caught a glimpse
of a woman hurriedly leaving his house, undoubtedly to return to her own home
The latest rumor going around was that Miranda Fairchild was
having an affair. Miranda wasnt a beauty but was attractive in a quiet
way, or so Id always thought. She was tall, slender, dark with
raven-black hair and eyes that suggested a depth beyond her usual suburban
housewifely exterior. I especially liked her quiet voice. Her husband Kenneth
would seem to be a likely cuckold, pale, prim, nerdish-looking with glasses,
some kind of accountant, absorbed in his work. They were childless. You might
say this was a pairing where the wife was almost certain to become the object
of some other mans desire.
I wont go into the details of all the speculation about
Miranda and Sid, which went on for some months. Everyone in our group was sure
they were having an affair. At one of our get-togethers, one of the other wives
was blunt enough to corner Sid and ask him outright. He denied it. No one
On this autumn Saturday, I was at Sids. Wed finished
a mornings tennis and Id stopped in for a beer. We were sitting in
his living room. The TV was on, a college football game. Someone came through
the door (Sid always left it open) and burst into the living room. It was
Kenneth Fairchild. He was even paler than usual and shaking. Pointing a finger
at Sid, he said, I know about you and Miranda.
Calm down, Kenneth. Theres nothing to know.
You lying bastard. Youve been screwing my wife.
Dont try to get out of it.
I assure you, Kenneth, thats not true. Come on,
Ill get you a beer.
You think you can talk your way out of anything. Not this
This wasnt the nerdish Kenneth Fairchild we knew. He had a
crazy look in his eyes. Then he pulled out a gun and pointed it at Sid.
Kenneth, dont be foolish. Put that down
Sid started to get up out of his chair. Kenneth fired, one, two,
three times. Then he dropped the gun and started crying.
* * *
I wont keep you in suspense.
Ken was shaking so badly that only one shot hit Sid, in the
shoulder. It went clear through. The other two shots went into the wall.
Sid recovered in a few months and is back playing tennis. He
refused to bring charges.
The Fairchilds moved away and no one knows where they are. Sid
of course was, as hed said all along, not the one having an affair with
As youll have guessed, I was the guilty party. I
didnt mean to be unfaithful, but I couldnt resist that soft voice
telling me everything would be all right as I poured out my troubles to her. My
wife Sally, Im happy to say, never suspected anything. I got my promotion
and things were easier after that. Sid never again went near any of the other
wives. I think he might get married, to another attorney in his firm.
The shooting made a big stir in our neighborhood for a while,
but now things have calmed down, and life in the suburbs goes on.