These portraits are memories, not fiction, and not
autobiography.
Memory is fallible and inadequate, but as the sole survivor of a
community which seems to me significant and characteristic of its time I must
use whatever store I have to tell its story.
Part One. The Prophet.
The first time I saw Fredrick Lohr he was poised like a
sea-captain confronting a mutinous crew from the deck of his ship, voice
pitched to cut through squalls. But he wasn't a sea-captain on the bridge of a
ship, he was on a platform in Hyde Park. It was a bright, blustery day in 1941,
not the most auspicious time to be asking prickly questions about war, power,
the conduct of governments, and the crisis in history, but that's what he was
doing.
It wasn't a harangue he was delivering but something closer to
an inquisition. He would pick on a particular heckler and fix him with a
penetrating gaze, leaning forward as if trying to pierce the mask to reach the
struggling infant inside. He would then submit the heckler's words, attitudes
and assumptions to mordant scrutiny. As a rule the heckler reacted like a
predator faced suddenly by a larger predator. He retreated warily or in haste.
I don't remember how soon after this I got to know Fredrick and
learned his story, but this is it.
His father was a German who married an Englishwoman and became a
British citizen. In 1915 he joined the British Army. As anti-German hysteria
grew among civilians, the family suffered abuse from neighbours. One day, when
his father was on leave, a crowd gathered on the stairs of the South London
tenement, baying for blood. Fredrick's father came out onto the landing in
uniform and carrying a rifle. He threatened to blow the head off the first
person to take another step. No one did. Fredrick was five or six years old at
the time.
Lohr senior died in his forties and Fredrick inherited a
moribund garage business and no money. First through specialist servicing and
then through selling cars, he developed a thriving trade and became a Lancia
agent in London, spilling cash on hunting with hounds, motor racing, and
learning to fly an aeroplane. His favourite books were the novels of
R.S.Surtees, whose character Jorrocks rollicked through the shires with
huntsmen, trenchermen and bibbers.
Once, when in full flow, he noticed my wife Gene in the crowd he
paused, struck by inspiration. But instead of revealing an immortal thought he
told the joke from Surtees about the man at the inn who asked what the weather
was like outside. A fellow carouser pulled open the door of a cupboard, peered
in and reported 'Filthy dark and smells of cheese.' The crowd received this
news with respect and attention.
Fredrick married a capable, ambitious woman who ran her own
dress shop. They had a daughter who became an actress and sometimes visited
Fredrick, wearing an expression of tolerant detachment.
When, after ignoring reality for years, the newspapers began to
press alarm buttons about Hitler, crisis, and carry rumours of war. Fredrick
awoke to an odd thought. He had relatives in Germany. Were they going to fight
him? Did they want a war? He decided to find out.
What a crazy time to visit Germany, his wife said. If Hitler
wants a war, and the politicians can't avoid one, you can't stop it. You're not
attending properly to business now. Why waste time and money on a trip which
can bring no comfort and no solution?
They'll look at you like something the cat forgot.
But Fredrick went. His relatives were warmly hospitable, and fed
him rich cakes. No, they told him, they didn't want a war. In any case, they
said, there wouldn't be one. How could there be? Hitler was a great man who
admired the English, and loved peace.
Fredrick returned home bewildered. If people in Britain didn't
want war, and people in Germany didn't want war, what sort of system was it
that allowed war to happen? He didn't believe that Hitler was a great man who
wanted peace, but he didn't believe, either, that British politicians were wise
man who knew how to avoid war. He didn't believe that any of them had the
interests of their own people at heart, or had any real idea how to control
events. Perhaps nobody can ever control events?
Perhaps there was something
behind events, some secret which you could never reach. Was it all our fault,
or God's? Or was everything a tissue of accident, and man a lost animal?
He talked to customers, friends, business acquaintances,
taximen, horse-trainers, shopkeepers, bankers, everybody. He tormented people
for information they didn't have, and for thoughts they had never bothered to
think. He read books on politics, economics, history and social philosophy. The
only writers who struck home were Kierkegard, Dostoevsky, Nietzsche, and the
Russian thinker Berdyaev, who managed to be at the same time a Christian and an
anarchist.
Fredrick grew increasingly lonely and agitated. He could not
sleep. He went for walks at night through streets populated only by cats,
drunks and the homeless. He felt cut off from the world he had known. It was no
longer a real world, but a dream. He felt ignorant, helpless, like a novice
swimmer splashing in a rough sea.
He could not navigate through a single day blown by a fair warm
wind. He would start a conversation in one mood and end it in another. He would
swing in minutes from being talkative, forceful, decisive, to being withdrawn,
brooding and sunk in silence. His wife began to lose patience.
One day, when pacing sombrely between tall buildings which
frowned over him like a threat, he was struck alive by a poster demanding 'Why
war?' Since this was the single question to which he most wanted a practical
answer, he strode into the placarded building and emerged fifteen minutes later
a member of the Peace Pledge Union, armed with a pamphlet and the information
that a PPU speaker held forth every Sunday afternoon in Hyde Park.
Fredrick went that Sunday to Speakers' Corner. A well-known
pacifist priest was stating his position with sober confidence and Fredrick
began to believe that perhaps he wasn't entirely alone after all.
But when the priest finished, a young idealist in corduroy
trousers, with long hair and an expression of arrogant timidity took his place.
The crowd was immediately hostile. If they or their brothers and sons would
have to join the Army and get shot, why should this weedy youth escape? Who was
he to tell them what to do?
There were then - and probably still are - ruthless and highly
skilled hecklers whose hobby it was to harry and destroy speakers in Hyde Park.
Once they got a victim on the run they chased him down with the concentration
of a stoat after a rabbit. There was rich sport in baiting a novice whose
delivery was hesitant and whose arguments under pressure became increasingly
confused. The pack closed in for the kill. Every effort the stricken speaker
made to marshal his thoughts was greeted with ribaldry, one heckler inciting
another to feats of mocking abuse.
In a final effort to gain some sort of control, the speaker
raised his voice to what he hoped would be a commanding bellow, and produced
instead a despairing squeak. A gale of laughter blew him away. He turned his
back, fighting tears.
Fredrick took off, barging his way through the crowd like a
Rugby forward going for the line. He pulled the floundering youth down from the
platform and leapt up in his place, a six-foot sea- captain looming above an
astonishment of flushed faces.
He didn't have to find words, words found him, and fired
themselves at the crowd. He denounced them individually and collectively for
malice, ignorance and stupidity. Were they so afraid of the opinions of a
harmless youth that they had to attack him like wild dogs? Would any of them
have the courage to stand up and face a hostile mob in defence of an unpopular
cause. The boy was trying to confront real problems at a time of crisis and all
they could do was play cruel games in the nursery.
He began to describe the conflicts and contradictions which
plagued his own mind, and how the coming war tormented his conscience. He
challenged each member of the audience to face them too. Where was the truth?
What was to be done? As he spoke he realised with amazement that he was saying
what the authentic hidden Fredrick would have said if he had known how, and
that the crowd had fallen silent. It was as if he were suddenly aware of the
world, of everything around him, in a new way, alight with meaning. He had a
sensation of tingling vitality.
When he fell quiet the crowd waited in equal quietness. A drunk,
slow to pick up the change of mood, tried to raise a shout. The surrounding
charge of anger sent him shuffling off into exile.
Fredrick knew with the clarity of sunlight on a startled lawn
that he had found his vocation. This was why he was alive: to discover the
hidden currents that move people and events and share what he had seen with
those who would respond. There was no turning back.
From then on he spoke regularly in the Park and at Lincoln's Inn
Fields. He hired a room in Endsleigh Gardens for an indoor gathering which
became known as the London Forum, and kept up its work for twenty years.
When the war began his business died. Who wanted a Lancia when
there was no petrol, no signposts, and nowhere to go? How could you import
them, anyway? How was he to earn a living? Fredrick wrote later: 'Only in
the utter acceptance of complete material insecurity can a man remain faithful
to his vision' - a dictum easier to explain to the marines than to his
wife.
Collections were made at his meetings; people approached him at
the Forum and offered him money. Whenever he lost faith, economic difficulties
followed; when faith revived, cash came in. This way of life offended his
wife's dignity and common sense. They lost friends and her own business
suffered. She left, taking their daughter.
It was not long after this that agents provocateurs managed to
incense the crowd to the point of fracas. Fredrick found himself in court
charged with breach of the peace. He served three months in Wormwood Scrubs.
His account of the experience concentrated entirely on the ingenious efforts of
fellow-prisoners to smuggle food to a man in solitary confinement.
By the time I met him, Fredrick had moved from straight pacifism
to the position of a thoroughgoing philosophical anarchist. He published a
booklet, 'The Philosophy of Freedom', in which he wrote: 'Vocation must
replace wage slavery, voluntary co-operation must replace governmental
coercion, and so security will supplant insecurity. We must find again joy in
activity. There is no other meaning in life. Man was once bound to the social
herd by force of necessity, language has freed his personality from social
compulsion. Now we must return by desire to a social community of free
people.' But how?
Although Fredrick's views changed drastically as time passed,
his sense of the necessity for freedom and vocation, and his sense of the
meaning of history were the fundamental issues for him until the end of his
life. In 1941 he wrote:
'All social issues narrow down to this conflict between
authority and liberty. . . No government, whether it be the domination of one
man over another, or of the State over the people, can exercise authority if it
has no power to enforce submission to its rule. Therefore all authority in the
final analysis proceeds from the threat of violence.' He was calling for a
society growing naturally from the simple to the complex by the voluntary
co-operation of free individuals.
His contacts with Spanish anarchist refugees from the civil war
in Spain, led him to believe that Spanish experience showed this to be
possible. But the influential anarcho-syndicalist movement in Spain had been
crushed by Franco, and never achieved equal strength anywhere else.
Fredrick became obsessed by a sense of the inescapable
loneliness of the human ego, which gave rise to all the unanswerable questions
in human life, and he was convinced that the desire for power is itself the
result of inner isolation.
His pilgrimage was an arduous one, and the Forum changed as he
changed, concentrating on methods of transcending the ego to reach a state of
objectivity and inner liberation, continually lost and regained. Fredrick was
not an obvious candidate for arrival at this state, but it was his insatiable
need to drive further that gave the Forum such intense vitality for so long. It
is notable that Fredrick?s concentration on Western preoccupation with history
made him indifferent to the meditation philosophies of the East.
It must have been early in the war years that Fredrick met the
mysterious Brown - a perfect name for a man in the shadows. Perhaps Brown
sought him out after hearing him in the Park.
Brown's own story was remarkable. He joined the Army in the
First World War, and remained an unthinking and enduring soldier on the Western
Front until one day, entirely normal in its bleak routine, he found himself
sitting alone in the back of a truck carrying supplies to a forward depot. I
say 'found himself because that's precisely what took place. One moment he was
slumped in a state of weary torpor, the next he was startlingly awake and aware
of his surroundings. He took in with a sense of revelation the blasted,
desolate landscape with its blackened trees, shattered buildings and muddy
craters, the lorry crawling like a lost insect on the rutted road. The whole
area of madness, the enormous stagnant armies, the deluded Generals imagining
that they could control events, the vast paraphernalia of war, and his own
terrifying inner isolation from it all, struck home with painful, stark
intensity. He realised as if a blazing word had been spoken that all these
people were moving and planning and suffering in their sleep, that he too had
been asleep and was now awake. He jumped off the back of the truck and out of
participation in the war. Whatever happened, he was now no longer under orders.
How he escaped court-martial, and how he survived the rest of the war I don't
know, but here he was in London, in 1941, still walking and still speaking in
very few words only what he felt to be necessary at the time.
I met Brown, a grizzled Scot, only once, and learned how simple
and infallible his method was. He would address to you a pointed and definite
statement, looking you coldly in the eye, and wait for your response. If it was
not satisfactory he would say 'Either you see it or you don't', and if you
didn't, he left. Each of us sees only what he is ready to see; a phrase may be
forgotten and years after it was said it comes alive in the mind to reveal
meaning.
In a letter of 1949 Fredrick took exception to something I had
written in an obituary article on Wilfred Ward Coupe (of whom more later). He
thought I had over-emphasised the influence Coupe had in the London Forum, and
on Fredrick himself. He set out to insist on his debt to Brown:
'I react resentfully against any suggestion, however faint,'
he wrote, 'that Coupe was the brains or the ideological spearhead of the forum.
This merit, if it is merit, belongs to Brown, and Coupe's interest in the forum
was due to something he recognised and acknowledged in me and which I received
from Brown and have tried to expound. . .'
Perhaps.
Coupe's contribution was scholarship, irony, a
frame of reference. Fredrick's gradual movement away from humanist anarchism
towards religious belief and then to the Catholic Church was not Brown's doing,
and as a typical Coupian irony it was not Coupe's either. Coupe was a
practising Catholic, but advised Fredrick not to join the Church because, he
said, it would destroy his vocation.
My guess is that Brown's esoteric view of history saw religious
institutions as instruments for power and control rather than for liberation
and enlightenment. What then was his revelation? Since I never heard him
expound it, I can only suggest this, from secondary evidence: that there is a
hidden current in history which will only reveal itself to the most penetrating
and steady observation, and that this observation can only take place when the
ego has freed itself from continual identification with doctrines and opinions
which it has adopted for purposes of self-aggrandisement, and for which it has
no authentic inner justification. Brown looked at events with a peculiar
coldness of gaze, and saw an irrevocable tendency towards greater
centralisation and control. Those whose aim it is to achieve world unity and to
build man in a particular image (who are not the politicians who delude
themselves that they manipulate events) correspond to Dostoevsky's view of the
Grand Inquisitor, who saw his duty as protecting ordinary human beings from
reality by refusing them freedom. This explains Fredrick's ongoing concern with
that formidable apparition.
Speaking personally, I suspect that esoteric explanations of
historical development are highly suspect, and that life is a great deal more
complex than any rational explanation of it.
One regular attender at Fredrick's indoor meetings was Molly
Warner, the determined daughter of an Anglo-Irish clergyman, who always
remained precisely that, even when running a house frequented by failed
priests, seekers, anarchists, nihilists, neurotics, the miserable, the
frenetic, the desperate, the lonely, and the lost.
Molly looked like a Renaissance madonna, douce, quiet and
self-contained, but in fact she was deeply emotional, with a steely will. When
her mind was made up, nothing and no one could shake her resolve. Once she had
begun one of her rare discourses, interruption could not turn her aside. She
would simply repeat the mantra 'You see," and carry on where she left off.
Fredrick gained in Molly his most dedicated supporter and his
most formidable opponent. After his divorce from his first wife Fredrick and
Molly were married.
In 1941 and 1942 I was a member of the Friends' Ambulance Unit,
which I had left University to join, and worked during the day in the Receiving
Room at Poplar Hospital, and in the evening at two Docklands Air Raid Shelters,
one at each end of the Silvertown Bridge, each with a Boys' Club, one Catholic
and one Anglican, both of which I was meant to superintend. I did this with
notable inefficiency, but enjoyed playing chess with the Vicar. I never met the
priest.
I moved then to work in the TB Ward at Bethnal Green Hospital,
an institution from which patients only emerged feet first, moving from bed to
bed as their condition worsened until they reached the door.
Finally I was occupied during the day at the Citizens' Advice
Bureau in Whitechapel, my main job being to trace the whereabouts of bombed
families who were being sought by friends or relatives. When found they had to
consent to the information being revealed in case the seekers were creditors or
worse. Responsibilities included being asked to rescue a beloved hat from a
wardrobe perched on the second floor of a house from which a bomb had removed
the entire side-wall. The wardrobe was in a distressed and drunken state. Since
I was riding a bicycle back to base the only place to carry the hat was on my
head, and a passing policeman opened his mouth to shout as I swept round the
corner and vanished.
The Citizens' Advice Bureau was run by two distinguished
Communists, one who resembled a brisk and downright retired Colonel, and one
whose motherly benevolence calmed many a bewildered pensioner. I gained for
them both real affection and respect and they treated me with astonishing
kindness.
While working in Whitechapel I was among FAU members stationed
at the London Hospital Students' Hostel. On several occasions I brought
anarchist speakers to this establishment - the saintly and down-to-earth Matt
Kavanagh, Bill Gape, organiser of the so-called Tramps' Union, and Fredrick.
Fredrick aroused more interest and debate than anyone else. His integrity and
total commitment produced the reaction, 'If this man believes that. it must be
worth considering.'
At one public meeting held, I think, in Wigmore Hall, various
left-wing mavericks did their best to inspire enthusiasm for a new world beyond
the war, and failed. Then Fredrick began pacing the stage as if trying to
contain the electric energy which burst out in sudden spouts of words,
something like this:
'Why are we here? What are we doing in the middle of a war
spouting rhetoric in a cold hall in a bombed city, when people are killing each
other all over the world? What's the war about? It's a war between a murderous
tyranny run by criminals and the complacent hypocrisy it's got by the throat.
What's the hidden evil behind this war and all wars? Power. We're here to fight
our own war against the delusions of power. People can seek power in order to
do good. But once power swallows them^all they work for is to keep it. Why?
'
'It's a craving. It's the Devil's trick. The Devil tried it
on Jesus. We've got to find a better way of organising so that no one has
enough power to do harm, and everyone has enough influence to do good.
'
'We're in a war, in darkness. We've got to live in light.
That's why we're here. Life can be a reign of terror, a deception, a routine of
dumb stupidity, a nightmare of loneliness. Or it can be a rich and marvellous
journey based on inner rules tested on your own integrity. Where do they come
from? From the seed we were born with. We know what's true and what's false, we
know what's right and what's wrong. When the rules are lost, balance is lost,
meaning is lost.?'
'I tell you this. Those rules are the living delineations of
beauty. We're here to break out of prison. We're here to find out where we
live, why we live, to discover the real world. Now! Wake up! Freedom is real!'
After a moment of stunned silence there was a storm of applause.
Some sensational event seemed to have taken place but no one could have told
you what it was.
When the noise died down Herbert Read, the anarchist poet,
small, slight, neat and grey-haired, rose to his feet. 'What we need,'
he said, 'is grace.' And sat down again. No applause was necessary.
Late in 1942 I decided to leave the FAU and go to work in the
coal-mines. First, I wanted to get married, and for that needed a regular wage,
which the FAU couldn't provide. Second, there was a prolonged pause in the
bombing of London, and I no longer felt useful. Third, I wanted to find out
whether the syndicalism preached by Spanish anarchists was possible in Britain.
Who better to tell me than coal-miners?
I went with Gene, my future wife, to see Fredrick in Marchmont
Street, where he and Molly rented a flat. Fredrick wrote to Gene later, when
she was recovering from polio, to tell her the effect she had on him then:
'The glory of you filled that little room like a choir of Blake's
angels.'
Molly's sister Kate was there, at that time a Communist as fiery
as her red hair, enthusiastically devoted to an entirely theoretical
working-class, and the idea of propaganda in industry. She gave me vigorous
support, whether I liked it or not.
Fredrick didn't want me to go. He proposed to set up an
agricultural community in Wales, and hoped we would join. Since I had only just
managed to persuade a Tribunal to change my condition of service as a
conscientious objector from work with the FAU to work in the coal-mines, I
wasn't anxious to return for another bout. Besides, I didn't believe that the
project would work, and it would certainly do nothing to hasten our marriage.
Gene was not yet twenty-one, and how could we sell a community of eccentrics
and no salary to her parents?
Fredrick insisted that I could achieve nothing in the coal-mines
and would end disillusioned. I went anyway, and in October 1943 Gene and I were
married in the Registrar's Office in Ilkeston, Derbyshire. I didn't end
disillusioned, I ended with a discharge from the mines because of a recurring
and debilitating flu-like illness.
I'm not sure now whether the community in Wales ever got
started, but if it did, it didn't last as long as my sojourn in the coal-mines.
While I was away Fredrick's ferocious debate with himself led
him in the unlikely direction of the Catholic Church. He undertook a stay in
Hawkesyard Priory. According to the journal he kept at the time, he took
immediately to the Prior, who was young, intellectual, and sympathetic. But
after the initial interview, the Prior did not appear again, and within days
Fredrick's mood had slumped. He found the priests pleasant and polite, with an
entirely conventional attitude to the war, and burst out in his journal: 'My
very soul cries out that the touchstone of truth lies in one's attitude to this
war.' As his mood sank lower he began to doubt his own intuitions.
'Maybe my vision of Christ is wrong. Yet I find no beatitude
in this transcendent God. . .Can I see Jesus plotting and conspiring with
financiers and politicians? No. Can I see Jesus eating with publicans and
sinners? Yes.'
He was particularly incensed by their condemnation of the
Spanish anarchists because they desecrated churches, while being quite happy to
support Stalinists because they were allies in the war.
'War is a spiritual affair,' he wrote, 'an irruption
of disintegrated, disillusioned and vengeful spirit. . This frustrated vitality
concentrates in unconscious hatred against the drab, colourless insignificance
of modern mechanised society. . . Oh, war manifests spirit all right. Spirit
frustrated in its drive for vocation and purpose. I am quite sure conscience
cannot cope with it.'
And this was true. Conscience could not cope with it. I knew of
men who willingly joined the Army, then found themselves struck by a crisis of
conscience, refused orders, and ended in the glass-house. Their superior
officers could not understand their position. Surely they knew that Hitler was
evil and had to be stopped? Yes, they knew that. But war too was a fundamental
evil. What was to be done? I knew too of men who obtained exemption from
military service on grounds of conscience, and then were driven by spiritual
unease to enlist, only to find themselves unbearably distressed by the role of
combatant. A woman of good-will asked me during the war, 'How can an
intelligent young man like you, who cherishes freedom, refuse to fight the
Nazis?' I could only reply, 'Somebody must.'
Fredrick wrote later: 'If I really have no vocation - if there
is no work I must do - then nothing seems to matter. I live and have reality
only insofar as the work is there. . . I do believe that if I could only free
myself from the idea (or perhaps it is egoistic obsession) of vocation - I
could find a useful life.'
But he didn't believe that in his heart.
When I was invalided out of the coal-mines and Gene and I
returned to London, we took a basement flat in Kentish Town and I had a job as
Citizens' Advice Bureau organiser, advising people how to claim for war damage.
Rockets had begun to fall on London. V1s, known as buzz-bombs,
were cigar-shaped unmanned weapons which drowned over like devilish wasps,
suddenly cut out, crashed and exploded. If you could watch them and note the
cut out point, you could guess where they would explode, and shift.
On one bus trip in the East End the conductress stood on the
boarding platform, leaning from the upright rail watching the sky, and shouting
to the driver 'stop' or 'go', according to the cut out.
After a month or two Fredrick told us he had found a
three-storey house in Paddington, and would take it on if we would share the
rent. Molly and Fredrick would be responsible for the lower floors, and we for
top floor and attics. We agreed. That's how we got to Westbourne Terrace, and
set up the nest of anarchists.