drinking isn't going to help you know..
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by Paul Tristram


To The Fridge!


“To the fridge!” I screamed the Battle cry

“And no prisoners are to be left standing.

I want every can and bottle empty

I thundered out aloud and demanding.

Brain cells need to pop and explode

and sobriety kicked right in the balls.

To the fridge!” I screamed the Battle cry

Oblivion’s waiting for one and all!”



a line, (a blue one)


She Stuck Her Nose In My Neurosis


She slapped hard at my face

then she pulled at my hair.

In the depth of her eyes

I saw all the anger flare.

I said this would happen

right from the beginning.

But she refused to listen

she only saw us winning.

I hadn’t even let her down

I’d been truthful all along.

Yet, she would not believe

I cannot be happy for long.

She had faced my neurosis

but did not like the smell.

She spat a curse goodbye

then walked away from hell.



a line, (a blue one)


Bad To The Bone


He wants to be a big, hard man

for his reputation to spread.

All the way down into town

his very name people must dread.

He talks of jail and fighting

and of his treating women mean.

But I’ve never seen him with one

he’s the saddest man I’ve seen.



a line, (a blue one)


Dangerous Friendships


Whatever happened to loyalty

has it become like the unicorn?

As rare as desert raindrops

or roses grown without thorns.

Why do people accept treason

trade respect for sad lies?

Sacrifice an old friendship

so unthinkingly cut the ties?

Turn on the people who care

within a blinking of an eye?

Trample on hard earned trust

like it was easy to re-buy?

Giving yourself is horrible

it is like Russian Roulette.

You simply cannot trust anyone

for no one is ever a safe bet.



a line, (a blue one)


The Nipple Plumber


Mary had a little thrush

it itched away all day.

She placed on it a dock leaf

but it made her hair decay.

The magic mushroom elevator

is still out of order.

It seems we need 5 ring pulls

all the way from Mordor.

Don’t look at me inquisitively

curiosity is so very crude.

I have only one thing for you

and it’s extremely lewd.

Roll the dice, sucker!

the highest number wins.

A crown of insanity

a cranium full of sin.

Help, I think I’m sinking

No, it’s alright, I’m fine.

I exchanged roles for a moment

with a glass of red wine.

The DT’s are beautiful

when explored by someone else.

It’s all down to imagination

unlike sober commonsense.

The whisky keeps me moving

the beer chills my soul.

Every night is a carnival

each morning takes its toll.

To dance out of tune

to sing out of pitch.

Is always much better

than patting next doors bitch.

My days are now endless

my nights are berserk.

I need to find myself

a new kind of work.

Something that will see me

right on through the summer.

Hold on, I’ve got it

I’ll be a Nipple Plumber.



a line, (a blue one)


Drunk Again And Again


Tomorrow it will come

Tomorrow it will go.

And I’ll still be here

Drinking more and more.

Drinking my dinner

Drinking down my tea.

Exchanging my life

For a mask of insanity.

Dancing with death

Playing dangerous games.

Clutching tight to my

Liquid Zimmer- frame.

Bouncing off walls

Sleeping on floors.

Sitting amongst bottles

Listening to ‘The Doors.’


Waking with strangers

Asleep in my bed.

Swapping pain in my heart

For a pain in my head.

Just living my life

Day by day by day.

I don’t try to be different

I was born this way.


People say settle down

Try to act normal.

But I can’t live like that

To me it’s abnormal.

Drinking’s a way of life

The only life that I know.

Sobriety is tedious

Its pace is far too slow.


Drinking all day

Drinking all night.

Out of my head

Flying like a kite.

Steaming drunk today

Steaming drunk tomorrow.

If I can only keep getting

The money to borrow.


a line, (a blue one)


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