"TWIGLETS" by John Atkins.
An original poetic form?
Or just a very long
title followed by a very short poem..
Poem about a young man who went to the
intending to have a good time and find a simple unaffected
maid whom he could take home across the fields
and make love to on the
In fact, after a few enquiries he
Words addressed by a parson to his
a recent member of which had just been apprehended by the
on a charge of stealing two silver candlesticks from a country
and half a dozen eggs from the parson's own hen coop
The wages of sin is death.
But I might as well
hold my breath.
Scathing remark made by the skipper to the
as they silently watched a new hand being sick over the
He's no notion
Of the ripples on a millpond,
let alone the swell of the ocean.
The fully justified grouse of an old gaffer
who had just spent
several minutes of his time recounting the history of
to a sightseer who had then got into his car and driven
Expects some recompense - but
there, you can't trust 'em.
Statement of policy by an enthusiastic
Francophobe from Birmingham
directed at a Parisian business man about to
to his native country after four years of exile
You and your talk of Paris!
I've no time for
it, I'm English, and my name's Joe Harris!
Lament of a young man stranded at the railway
and hopeless, deserted by the moon and the stars of his
and compelled to find solace in a railway canteen bun
which there is no more depressing fate.
More deadly than a gun, she was my
moon and stars - but vetoed fun.
Frigid reply of a hard-worked and indigent
who has been asked once again by his wife
(whom he had originally
married because of her gaiety)
for the establishment of a joint banking
I view with alarm
Your obvious conviction that
you can get what you want merely by an exercise of charm.
Comment of a young lady who went to Selfridges
to buy her grandma
a xmas present but finding nothing suitable went on to
the corner house
where she spent the money she had saved
on cream cakes
and ices (North Poles, Peach Melbas, Sundaes and such)
I shouldn't wonder.
If I haven't made a
Shaft of wit directed by an aging yet still
outside a cinema, being wheedled and coaxed by an
attractive young woman
who was opposing all the force of her charm against
the large House-Full notice
which it was the said commissionaire's duty to
bring to the attention of the public
The house is full and no purpose can be
served by appealing to my Old Adam.
Soliloquy of a high-class bankrupt who had
tried really hard
but nevertheless had always been unable to keep sufficient
on his debit column with his credit column a perpetual also
Once again I've erred.
Net result: I'll
temporarily have to travel third.
Short-tempered remark made by an irate old
to a youth who had trodden violently on his toe and had then
in an unnecessarily long spate of words
It's no excuse
To imagine that apologies
provide any consolation merely because they are profuse.
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