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The Martian Invasion  
by Martin Green



The sudden appearance of a Martian spaceship over Washington D.C. in the wake of winter storms, flooding, terrible Oscar nominees and the 2016 presidential election was the last straw. Needless to say, there was an emergency meeting in the White House. The President, who had been forced to cancel his latest rally before supporters guaranteed to cheer his every word, turned to his CIA Director. “How come we didn’t have any intelligence on this?” he asked. “Wasn’t there increased chatter coming from Mars?”

“With all the chatter in this town, Mr. President, it’s hard to tell. Besides, our intelligence was directed elsewhere. You remember, North Korea, China, Iran, Syria, Afghanistan, Mexico, California.”

“This must all be connected to the bungling policies of the previous administration. Now we’re paying the price.”

Meanwhile, on one of the TV cable channels, various pundits were telling interviewers that we’d known about the possibility of a Martian invasion for years, look at the “War of the Worlds” and “Independence Day” movies, and neither the Republicans or the Democrats had done anything to prepare for it.

  On another cable channel, the Reverend Jesse Sharpton was telling a reporter, “This shows conclusively that we still have a racist solar system. Why didn’t the Martian spaceship appear over a mostly white city? This all goes back to the days of slavery. First, the white people, now the Martians. “

The New York Times front page story asked the question: is the Martian invasion linked to global warming?  Half a dozen scientists weighed in on either side. The Times editorial demanded an immediate bipartisan investigation.


* * *


The Martian delegation descended from the spaceship and advanced on the President and his aides, plus the Secret Service, the FBI and the CIA, all ready to repulse any attack.  “Who did you say was the leader?” the head Martian asked his foreign minister.

“That one with the strange hair.”

“Ah, yes.  Greetings, President Grump.”

“Uh, it’s Trump.  I’m the President, elected with a sweeping majority of electoral votes and I would have won the popular vote too except for a few million illegal ballots.

I’m also very rich.”

“Very interesting.”

“Yes.  I’m also opposed to illegal immigrants but since you’re already here I’ll make an exception.  We’ll oppose all of your demands but, since I’m a master of the art of the deal, I’m ready to negotiate.”

“We have no demands and no wish to negotiate, President Grump.  We’re here to help.”

“Huh. Help? What do you mean?  And it’s President Trump.”

“We’ve had reports of your storms, flooding, loss of moral values, sex, violence and nudity on television, obsession with Twitter and government gridlock and have come to lend some assistance.  I believe it’s what you would call a clean-up operation.”

By the next week, thanks to advanced Martian technology, the damage from storms and flooding was repaired.  The Martians left peacefully, as they’d come.  Afterward, it was found that everyone in the White House and all members of Congress were also gone.




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