The sudden appearance of a
Martian spaceship over Washington D.C. in the wake of winter storms, flooding,
terrible Oscar nominees and the 2016 presidential election was the last straw.
Needless to say, there was an emergency meeting in the White House. The
President, who had been forced to cancel his latest rally before supporters
guaranteed to cheer his every word, turned to his CIA Director. How come
we didnt have any intelligence on this? he asked. Wasnt
there increased chatter coming from Mars?
With all the chatter
in this town, Mr. President, its hard to tell. Besides, our intelligence
was directed elsewhere. You remember, North Korea, China, Iran, Syria,
Afghanistan, Mexico, California.
This must all be
connected to the bungling policies of the previous administration. Now
were paying the price.
Meanwhile, on one of the
TV cable channels, various pundits were telling interviewers that wed
known about the possibility of a Martian invasion for years, look at the
War of the Worlds and Independence Day movies, and
neither the Republicans or the Democrats had done anything to prepare for
On another cable
channel, the Reverend Jesse Sharpton was telling a reporter, This shows
conclusively that we still have a racist solar system. Why didnt the
Martian spaceship appear over a mostly white city? This all goes back to the
days of slavery. First, the white people, now the Martians.
The New York Times front
page story asked the question: is the Martian invasion linked to global
warming? Half a dozen scientists weighed in on either side. The Times
editorial demanded an immediate bipartisan investigation.
* * *
The Martian delegation
descended from the spaceship and advanced on the President and his aides, plus
the Secret Service, the FBI and the CIA, all ready to repulse any attack.
Who did you say was the leader? the head Martian asked his
That one with the
Greetings, President Grump.
Uh, its Trump.
Im the President, elected with a sweeping majority of electoral
votes and I would have won the popular vote too except for a few million
Im also very
also opposed to illegal immigrants but since youre already here Ill
make an exception. Well oppose all of your demands but, since
Im a master of the art of the deal, Im ready to
We have no demands
and no wish to negotiate, President Grump. Were here to
Huh. Help? What do
you mean? And its President Trump.
reports of your storms, flooding, loss of moral values, sex, violence and
nudity on television, obsession with Twitter and government gridlock and have
come to lend some assistance. I believe its what you would call a
By the next week, thanks
to advanced Martian technology, the damage from storms and flooding was
repaired. The Martians left peacefully, as theyd come.
Afterward, it was found that everyone in the White House and all members
of Congress were also gone.